Photos by Collis Torrington
So, this past weekend, I had the pleasure of shooting with a fellow blogger and fly guy George Myrie and chatted about relationships. It got me to thinking about my own relationships, or lack thereof.
More often than not, we (women) don’t want to ask ourselves questions about our shortcomings when it comes to relationships because we’re afraid of the answer. It’s important to self-reflect and take a long hard look at what’s happening in our lives to figure out how to correct the wrongs. I’ve constantly struggled with the question. Why are my intimate relationships so unsuccessful? After years of searching and getting kicked in the face by love, I found my answer.
It’s ME. I have a fear of ending up a lonely spinster, so I give a lot of myself too soon; thinking that they will go elsewhere if not given all they desire. I want to show my mate that I’m willing to do my part to make him happy that I’m losing myself in the process. As women, we are so happy to be with someone that we miss a lot of the warning signs or in my case, I ignore them. I recently had an incident that left me wondering what I’m doing wrong. It’s not that I’m doing anything wrong; I am simply giving too much too soon. I don’t make the man of interest work tirelessly or jump through rings of fire for my love because I give of myself so freely when I’m involved. I’m a woman who is extremely passionate about love, building relationships, quality time and all those things that make a relationship successful. I’ve always made myself accessible, but I’m learning that I need to be a little less available so I can take the time to smoke a brother over and see if he’s really here for me or my “sweetness.”
The bottom line for me is…Slow down! If recent events have taught me nothing else, it taught me that the other party involved may not be as interested and/or invested as I am or hasn’t reached the level of maturity to deal with a woman like me. So, I take my time, allow myself to be courted and allow the relationship to progress organically and if they’re too eager to taste my sweetness; they’re probably only there for that in the first place.
Thanks for stopping by!